Deep Sea Dancing

As I was waiting for a class to begin earlier this week, one of my friends asked a seemingly simple question about my life. The question went a little like this: "Paige, what has been your greatest adventure and what did it teach you?" Bam. Not exactly the type of question I was expecting at 9 o'clock in the morning before I had finished my first cup of coffee. At the time, I tried to defer the question with a giggle and a quick change of subject. But even though the topic was avoided in conversation, the two questions lingered in my mind throughout the day.

What has been your greatest adventure? What did it teach you?

All of us have been apart of an unusual and exciting experience or activity. Some would argue that life itself is adventure and I would have to agree. However, for this question, I decided to focus on a much smaller and more specific scale by reflecting on recent escapades and moments of fun. 

 This past summer I spent a few weeks traveling along the California coastline from Los Angeles to Big Sur, making many stops along the way for pictures, bathroom breaks, and food. (Heaven forbid that my family would go longer than 4 hours without a meal.) During our short time on the west coast we strolled down Rodeo Drive, found Betty Whites' star outside the Chinese Theatre, enjoyed gelato on Hunnington beach, explored several of the Paso Robles vineyards, and grabbed lunch on the pier at Morro Bay. (Honestly, an entire post should have already been dedicated the greatness of this vacation.) Among the list of activities was a deep sea fishing excursion. I mean, who wouldn't want to fish in the Pacific Ocean? 

With eager spirits and borrowed equipment, our deep sea fishing adventure began at dawn by checking into a ratchety shack where a change box replaced a cash register and cleaning supplies were nonexistent. The smell of fish and Cheetos filled the thick salty air. Yummy, huh? After exchanging my money for a boarding ticket and a fishing license, my name was mumbled by a man with an untamed grey beard, indicating that it was my turn to board the boat. With caution I teetered down a set of metal stairs that connected the pier to the fishing boat. To my surprise, the boat was nostalgic and meek in stature. In my non-experienced mind, I had envisioned a cruise ship. Or a yacht. Or a ferry. With a deep breathe, my weight shifted from the pier onto the P.O.S...I mean, onto the boat. There was no turning back. 

Deep sea fishing. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the process (like I was) let me reel out some information and catch you up to speed. Once all the passengers have boarded, the boat exists the shallow waters and travels to a location with more depth. Hence the name deep sea fishing. After traveling for thirty minutes at a steady pace, you realize that you are actually stranded. Like, not just a little bit stranded. You are completely isolated from shore without a life-jacket or a sanitary bathroom. Once we reach the starting location, the captain lowers the anchor and shouts "lett'er drop". (Translation: begin fishing) All the fishermen drop their lines and wait for a bite. 

It can't be that difficult, right? 

And so the adventure began. I strategically placed my fishing pole over the railing and allowed my line to sink downward until it reached the appropriate depth. A sudden sense of confidence cascaded over me as I diligently eyed the orange and yellow bobber that was relaxing on the surface of the water. And then, out of no where, I felt the boat begin to sway. First to the left. Then to the right. Back and forth, the boat danced the Cupid Shuffle with an ever increasing force. With one hand I held the fishing pole while my other hand grasped the railing out of panic. At that point I realized that my confidence was premature. How was I supposed to fish when I could barely stand? Next to me, an older man reeled in his first catch of the day, took the fish off the hook, and then tossed the scaly fish into a sack beside my feet. The boat continued to sway and as the fish wiggled and shimmied inside the bag, I felt my stomach do the same.

Suddenly, a crew member staggered to the railing beside me. Raising up his calloused hand he pointed to the horizon and suggested that I fix my eyes on a huge rock that stood stationary in the distance. I assume he gives this advice to all the passengers who look weak. Without questioning, I followed directions and my nauseous stomach began to settle even in the midst of the rocking boat and flopping fish. Soon I began my own collection of fish, pausing often to fix my eyes on the rock and maintain my balance. With tiring arms and a a nervous headache, I finally caught enough fish to reach the limit that is stated in the California bylaws, but unfortunately I never caught the man's name who offered the invaluable advice. You see, I believe that man is actually very wise.

In this life we often find ourselves being swayed in many directions. Sometimes life can be rocky, unsteady, and very unpredictable causing us to lose our balance and making it difficult to stand. Other times we find ourselves consumed by living up to the successes of others, mesmerized by the commotion of everyday life, and coveting our neighbors flopping fish. Do you feel me? In doing so, we quickly become weak and our hearts become ill. During moments of stress, busy agendas, hopeful encounters, and confusing defeats I think of the man standing on the boat and pointing to the horizon. 

Fix your eyes on The Rock.

In doing so I am sweetly reminded that my anxiety can be cast away and I continually find that my heart is happy.

So now it's my turn to ask you a question. 

What has been your greatest adventure?

-jpr

:::The College Growing Pain:::

I used to think that in order to make a difference I had to be extreme, plan an elaborate trip, or be the leader in some way. But what I'm discovering is that the biggest differences can be made using just a few tools. 

At the age of five I wanted to be the Quick Lube mechanic who investigated underneath the car. I aspired to achieve greatness. Obviously. With the passage of every birthday, my career goals were redirected. Through the years I was convinced that I was going to be the Walmart greeter, a country music singer, or the host on QVC. My three note range and southern draw quickly placed a damper on a couple of those dreams. Luckily, I'm perfectly qualified to endorse rollback prices while reppin' a blue vest.

After a childhood full of dreaming and planning, you reach an age when that adolescent wonder turns to reality. The uncertainty no longer exists and somewhere along the way you choose what you want to be when "you grow up".

I've been mistaken all these years because I thought by answering the what, everything else would fall into place. We've been asking ourselves the wrong question.

College is such a unique era. It's a time when you can remember vivid details of your elementary and teen years while simultaneously taking giant steps towards independence. College is a constant slumber party, an emotional see-saw, a cup of coffee and great conversation, a long run along the Tennessee River, and a time when eating Fourth Meal with your friends at 3am is acceptable. College is a time to befriend strangers, understand other viewpoints, voice your beliefs, dance without reservation, and let go of the parts of life that keep you from becoming the greatest version of yourself. 

Oh, and school. College is about that too. 

But you see, being a college student is more than deciding what you want to be...it's about becoming who you want to be. The passage of time moves swiftly in one direction. Tick. Time doesn't take a break. Tick. Time doesn't come with a rewind setting. Tick. Time is here. Tick.

When I grow up, I want to live a life of intention. I want to make people smile. I want to be spontaneous. I want to be present and engaged in other peoples lives. I want to be genuine. I want to laugh at myself. I want to make every day count. I want to forgive quickly. I want to make a difference. 

Looking back, my first career choice may have been the best. Unlike the Walmart greeter, the country singer, or the tv host, the face of the mechanic working underneath the car is often hidden. The mechanic goes to work everyday with his sleeves rolled up, knowing that the job is not easy. The mechanic doesn't worry about the body of the car, his job is to focus on what remains unseen. Sometimes he feels as if his role is insignificant, but without the attention, fine tuning and auditing of the mechanic then the car would fail to run. 

We should strive to be that type of friend for someone else. Making a difference begins now. It begins exactly where you are by engaging with those around you, speaking from your heart, and worrying more about who than what. 

Now it's time (Tick.) for me to ask you a question.

Who do you want to be when YOU grow up? 

 jpr

Material Cleanse

Two months ago I made a pact with myself that has already led some people to question my sanity.

Today marks the 8th week of a personal challenge to live without the purchase of any clothing, jewelry, shoes, or accessories until January 1st, 2014. Month #1 was a success and so were weeks 1, 2, and 3 of month #2. But on week 8, I caved. I have failed before completing even one-third of the experiment. As you read this I could attempt to justify my action, but none of that really matters. The truth is, I stumbled upon a pair of peach wedged high heels and a purse while I was supposed to be shopping for cleaning supplies at Target. Within seconds the two forbidden items were perched in my cherry red buggy, making themselves at home and flirting with the Scrubbing Bubbles and Mr. Clean. The cashier scanned my items and as she bagged them the initial thrilled turned to guilt. Leaving the store I felt as cheap and shallow as the plastic bag that was draped on my forearm. You see, unfortunately this purchase wasn't an accident. Instead, I willing chose to break the rules. 

That's how sin works most of the time. Just ask my girl, Eve. (Genesis 3)

The following night, I planned my entire outfit around the newly purchased peach shoes. The guilt would temporarily subside when someone would kindly comment on my ensemble. I thought to myself, "Well, the shoes were on sale. It's not like I splurged." 

Suddenly I began to realize that with every step, there was a slight discomfort. Step by step. One foot in front of the other. Holy cow these hurt.

Before going any further, it's important to note that I'm highly competitive. Bluntly stated: I prefer to succeed and I have found failing to be irritating and disheartening. I would argue that everyone can relate to the statement above. We all find pleasure in winning. Some of us more than others, but none the less, succeeding feels more satisfying than failing.

This summer I was enrolled in an accounting course at the University of Tennessee. The professor was an enthusiastic man with a towering presence and, like most professors, he developed two versions of each test. Version A and Version B.

Everyone is taking the same test, however the sequence of the problems may vary.

As a result, the professor possesses two answer keys. One answer key corresponds to Version A and the other to Version B. These answer keys reveal the correct answers and are used to determine whether you pass or fail.

While turning in my last exam, I began wondering if the professor had ever graded a test using the wrong answer key? Or if a student has accidentally listed the incorrect test version? 

Outside of the classroom, this happens to us all the time.

During the first phase of this experiment I've discovered that we can" grade" our progress in life from a worldly version or from an eternal version.

In my experience, the worldly version leaves me feeling weary and incomplete. Buying the forbidden shoes didn't make me feel any better. In fact, they gave me blisters. There will always be women who are prettier, more intelligent, wealthier, more athletic, etc. The list could continue for days. When comparing ourselves with the worldly version, we will never be satisfied.

That's why I choose Him. Despite my flaws and shortcomings, His love never runs out on me.

When judging my failures and successes in life, to whom am I using as my answer key?

Viewing life through eyes of faith, we can never fail because His love never fails.

Are my actions honest, kind, just, obedient? Am I serving others, acting mercifully, forgiving daily?

 As Bob Goff stated in his book Love Does, "I used to be afraid of failing at the things that really mattered to me, but now I'm more afraid of succeeding at things that don't."

More of Him

Less of me

It's time to carry on with week 9 of the experiment against excess.

-jpr-

The Experiment Against Excess

 

More of Him, less of me.

“Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

 Matthew 6:19-21

While packing for a 10-day trip to California, I sifted through my closet(s) and pulled out an assortment of dresses, shorts, and blouses for a total of 11 outfits. One outfit for each day I'm away from home and one extra because...well because I can. We all know styling isn't complete without shoes and jewelry, so I began searching for the accessories that would accent the clothes that were already tightly stowed in my over-sized suitcase. At that moment I paused to acknowledge that I always travel with more than I actually need. My suitcase isn't just full, but overflowing with excess.

This example served as a visual representation of the bigger lesson that God has been continually placing on my heart and mind for several weeks.

Compared to the entire world population I live a very comfortable and even luxurious life. 

I would dare to say that excess has impaired our frame of reference in America. Excess food, possessions, spending, waste, media, and stress. As a result the line between my wants and needs have become blurred.

In an effort to simply my life and reduce emphasis on "stuff", I began a 6 month personal challenge against excess on July 1st.

Here are the ground rules:

1.  No articles of clothing, scarves, handbags, shoes, or jewelry can be purchased until January 1st, 2014. 
2. Others are not allowed to purchase the items above and give them to me. That would be cheating. But all other gifts will be accepted...hint hint. 
3. My friends and family will serve as the jury and are to hold me accountable.                                           *Special counseling may be needed during Victoria Secret Semi-Annual Sale and the transition from the summer to autumn shopping season. 
4. If a problem or question arises, I must consult the jury for a proper ruling.  
5. Quitting is not permissible.

Simple enough? 

Yeah, it sounds like torture to me too.

However, I'm hopeful that this experiment will remind me to come constantly with a thankful heart for all my needs have already been met.

More of Him, less of me. 

-jpr-

Orbits: For That Nice Clean Feeling

Fiction or non-fiction? You may never know.

Several years ago my youth director looked me square in the eye and asked, "What are you chewing on?"

Intimidated by the tone of the question, my first thought was to truthfully shout, "Orbits bubblegum!"

Darn it. I've always been taught that it is rude to chomp my gum. And there I was, completely caught.

But before I answered I paused a moment longer, sensing that he was not calling me out about my gum chewing technique or wanting a literal answer. I suspect that my confused expression made me closely resemble the ditzy blonde girl who influenced me to purchase the Orbits chewing gum in the first place. Got a dirty mouth? Clean it with Orbits!

By this time MM knew it was time to rephrase his question. He asked, "What are you reading and studying right now?" Feeling the blood rush to by cheeks, I sheepishly confessed that I wasn't "chewing" on anything. 

A couple of weeks later we began a class study on the book of Romans. Sunday morning, Sunday evenings, and Wednesday nights were devoted to learning and going a little bit deeper into scripture. This was the first time that I had been fully submerged and challenged to research more than the words on the surface. I always arrived to school well before class began. Not by choice, simply because I didn't have my drivers license yet. Nonetheless, I decided to spend those extra minutes reading Romans and dissecting a few verses. I began reading where I had previously stopped. 

Romans 4:9

As I began reading in the library that morning, I struggled to understand the meaning of the very first verse. "Hmmm", I murmured to myself while thinking that my vocabulary was extremely weak. 

The glossary. Yes, the glossary. This seemed like a logical place to search for a definition. I quickly flipped the page to the back of my Bible. By habit I repeated the first three letters of the alphabet in my mind.  "A...B...C...okay, C. Now where is that word?"

My eyes scanned down the thin piece of paper but in the group of "C" words, the one I was searching for was not on the list. 

In an effort to speed up the process and crack the mystery, I decided to text MM and ask. So on that early Thursday morning I sent my youth director a text that went something like this, "Good morning! What does circumcision mean?" 

I've never denied having the personality type that is direct and to the point. This situation was no different. 

I sat in silence for a moment before hearing my ringtone whistle "The Great Escape" by Boys like Girls. 

Reflecting back, the title of that song was very appropriate. It would have been great if I could have escaped the entire situation.

Calmly I opened my candy apple red flip phone and viewed MM's response. 

"I'll explain it in person."

At 7:40 something AM, that answer was acceptable. I closed my journal and stowed my Bible away in my backpack. Days passed but my curiosity stirred.

SUNDAY 5:01 PM

When I was younger (and more naive) our youth group gathered in the fellowship hall for dinner at promptly 5:00 each Sunday before dividing into smaller groups for discussion and study. Before preparing my plate I approached MM in a very professional and matter of fact manner and loudly blurted, 

"So tell me what circumcision means! I just cannot figure it out."

And. At. That. Moment. He. Explained. It. All. 

He explained much more than I wanted to know actually and again I felt my face turn as red as the spaghetti sauce that was supposed to accompany our dinner. 

The truth was out. I knew the facts. And I've never questioned the meaning of Romans 4:9 again. 

That Sunday I decided to skip dinner and I opted for Orbits chewing gum instead in hopes of cleaning my dirty, dirty mouth. 

jpr

A Gentle(wo)man's Game

Golf. Most would refer to it as a gentleman's game. However, I don't consider myself to be like most people. During my years of competitive golf I have witnessed so many petite, bubbly, kindhearted women who have a passion for the game. Don't let their exterior be misleading. These women, my friends, would rob the average male golfer of their money and their pride. Gently, of course. As I've eased out of playing competitively over the past three years, I've found that my game has worsened while my collegiate bound teammates and friends continue to break their own personal records. Despite my lack of practice lately, the passion for the game remains.

But you see the reason I love the sport is deeper than the obvious objective of smacking a tiny white ball into a round hole. By nature and intent, golf teaches elements of character. Honesty, integrity, perseverance, self-discipline, humility, respect, and courtesy. Golf, known as being a mental game, has taught me perspective above all. The way I play golf is very similar to the way I play the game of life. Some days I feel like a professional and other days I'm back to learning the fundamentals.

Weather Conditions

In East Tennessee the weather is known for being unpredictable. Just when I think I'm prepared and dressed appropriately for a round of golf, the once fluffy marshmallow cloud suddenly appears grey and sprinkles of water begin to drop. As a result I've learned that you have to persevere, be flexible, willing to adjust your game plan based on the condition of the course. Life shares this same unpredictability. I like to think that stormy seasons are placed in our life to subtly lead us to discover God's game plan. As a player of the game, we must be willing to trust and be redirected.

Whiffing

This word is often used to describe a player who swings and misses by a considerably large margin. In a golfers dictionary, whiffing would be defined as swinging the golf club without making contact with the ball. As a result you've wasted a stroke and have not advanced the ball any closer to the hole. Luckily it has been many years since I've embarrassingly whiffed while playing golf however, in life there are several moments where I miss the target. The intentions of my heart mean well, but many times I find myself focused on the wrong goal. As a result I am weary and stationary. I misuse my efforts by taking a swing at events and agendas that don't offer any advancement for His Kingdom. Swing and a miss. Sound familiar? This leads me to the next topic.

Forgiving Yourself

Golf is weird compared to other sports. Bear with me as I explain a few concepts for those who aren't very familiar. The objective is to play a round of golf and finish with the lowest score. A "round of golf" consists of playing 18 consecutive holes and the number of strokes he or she must take to make the little white ball roll into the hole determines a player’s score. Boring, right??? 

My point is this. During the round, mistakes are going to happen. You may hit the ball into the sand trap, out of bounds, into a hazard, or lose sight of the ball all together. When this happens a feeling of frustration, regret, and disappointment swell within. However, in the midst of these emotions we must remind ourselves that there is still more golf to be played and opportunities to do well in the future. A terrible hole doesn't immediately result in a terrible round. Life is no different. We all make mistakes, but the way we react to our mistakes will impact our future. In order to succeed in golf and in life, I believe it's required that we have a positive attitude and optimistic outlook. Forgive yourself and move on to the next hole.

The First Tee Junior Golf Program

Perhaps you don't dedicate your time golfing, but whenever people are passionate about something one becomes full of joy and inspired when they are able to participate, contribute, and be involved with an activity that they love. I believe our personal interests aren't given to us by chance. They are sweetly given as gifts...so go play! 

jpr

Traditions in Transit

 When I was a little girl, before Ben was born, I remember my grandmother and mother jetting off to the beach every year during the month of May. You'll never guess what that meant! 

Seven full days with my daddy. 

Just him and me.

We spent 6 of our days fishing and playing hide and seek. Occasionally I would pout because he didn't know how to fix the perfect ponytail. High on my head, with absolutely no bumps. Every night while driving home from a full day of adventure, he would slow his truck until it came to a stop. Our cozy house was always in sight, but I knew that this was my cue. With the smell of a breezy summer and fresh cut grass seeping in through the truck windows, I crawled over and sat on my daddy's lap. With my neck stretched tall and my eyes wide, I could barely see over the steering wheel to claim the responsibility of a back road driver. 

But I proudly welcomed the task and for that mile of traveled gravel, I felt untouchable.

So, for the next 5 days my fair, freckled face beamed with excitement when the truck hit the gravel and daddy began to hit the brakes.

Day 1-6 of Beach Week. Yep, this really happened. I'm so glad Ben (my brother) was finally born.

The laundry was stretched in all rooms of the house. Our dishes weren't spotless and they were not occupying their usual position in our cabinets. My diet consisted of Poptarts, Happy Meals, sunflower seeds, and homemade peach ice cream. 

But at 4 years old, none of this seemed to matter. At least not until day number 7.

The day that mama was arriving home! 

Year after year, the reaction of this day was always the same. Excitement and a sense of panic. Day number 7 was devoted to tidying up all the messes that resulted from our week of play. Washing and drying our clothes, stuffing my baby dolls behind the curtains in my bedroom (that was my best kept secret), rinsing the dishes and learning which button started the wash cycle. 

Day 7 was chaotic. 

However, completely necessary so that mom would believe that everything was under control while she was away. As eventful as daddy-daughter week was, I remember pressing my nose against our sliding glass door watching and waiting for mom to come home and cradle me in her arms.

 

Day 7 Transformation

As you are reading this post, you will find me in transit. That's right, I'm beach bound! 

This isn't just your typical east coast vaca. This particular vacation has history. It's a tradition in which my membership was just approved last year. I have a one year tenure. However, it's the same beach getaway that the women in my family have taken with their best friends for over 20 years. 

It's been a time for them to escape the reality of everyday schedules. A time to share stories with their best friends. A time to shop and see who can find the best deals at the Tanger outlets. And for a week, they could bask in the sun and pretend that everything is right in the world. 

The timing of this trip is very appropriate. Memorial Day. As I travel this meaningful route, I can't help but to feel as if I'm leaving someone behind. The memory of my mother's last beach trip is playing on repeat. When scrambling through old documents, I found a letter that I wrote and sent to the women of a bible study at my church. 

  

 "As for mom, she has been at the beach with her friends and is traveling back home this evening. I’ve called her several times and

although she has been sleeping a lot, her friends have also kept her laughing. She seems to be enjoying herself. Mom has always loved pretty pajamas, shoes, etc. So I was not surprised a few weeks ago when she showed me a new swimsuit and matching cover-up that she bought to wear at the beach. She called me on Thursday night as I was driving to let me know that her and the girls walked down to the beach and then stopped to get virgin strawberry daiquiris. She added that she was wearing her new swimsuit and matching cover-up. Stories like this make me so happy because I am assured that she’s doing all she can to enjoy the time that she has left. Although none of us are able to determine the timing of future events, I feel like the next few weeks are a time to really treasure. I am convinced in the power of prayer. Our family has been blessed and able to spend way more time with my mom than most people that are diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Even though my heart aches with a sadness that may never go away, I cannot help but to give praise to the Lord for the time our family has been given. As I reflect on the past two years, I continue to be amazed of God’s sovereignty in my life and the way He can reveal the small blessing that can come despite tragedy. These small blessings are the pieces of encouragement that give me hope and remind me that I have no reason to fear. For this really is our temporary home and I know that this is not the end, but only the beginning of an eternal life. How great are God’s love and his promises? I am so thankful to know the love of Christ and for each of you ladies for the love that you’ve shown to my family." (May 22, 2012)

This year, the tradition is different however I am choosing to rejoice in the memories that this beach trip represents. The tradition must go on, and I am smitten that I get to carry this forward. Often times I feel like the freckled faced 4 year old anxiously waiting for my mother to return, only to realize that she is already home. I often like to imagine how she is spending her time. The possibilities seem endless however, I trust that the Lord will forever keep His promises to me, and to all of His children. Eternity is a place of no pain or hardship. A time when He will embrace me with outstretched arms. A time to thank Him with my knees bent low and hands reaching high in praise. A place where my sweet mother is waiting for MY arrival. A place like the beach where we can permanently escape schedules, we can share stories with our best friends, bask in the grandeur of The Son and know that everything is right. And maybe, just maybe there will be a majestic Tanger outlet mall with a never ending closeout sale.

-jpr-

The "Greene" House

 

Every year my grandparents plant a huge garden full of many different fruits and vegetables. These seeds are planted with the intention to provide fresh food for our family, to share with friends, and allow others to gain a taste of some delicious produce while providing them with seeds to begin creating their own garden. During the spring and summer months a lot of sweat and time is devoted to the garden. The first step is to plant the seeds. Once this is accomplished, they spend many weeks ensuring that the seeds they've planted are nurtured in an atmosphere that will yield a healthy harvest.

It's that time of the year.

Summer break.

For some of us, summer is already here!

For others, sitting through a long graduation ceremony is the only event standing in your way.
In reflecting over my own high school graduation, I realize that most details were a blur. However, I do remember re-reading my graduation speech in my head 100+ times, posing for a never ending stream of photographs, wrapping my arms around my mother's neck as I received my diploma, and then getting plastered with silly string in celebration.  

For some members of my class, that was the last day our paths have crossed. I often wonder how life's circumstances have treated them and how they have spent the past few years. 

For others of my class, I have never once had to question where they are or what they are doing because I've been able to build on the memories that were established many years ago.

It's not until you grow and reach new heights that you are able to look back and fully appreciate those precious times. I suspect this delayed appreciation will continue to happen as we enter new stages of our journey and later understand the magnitude of the moments that once seemed insignificant. After discussion will a friend and former classmate, some of our greatest “delayed appreciations” involved subtle conversations where a coach or teacher expressed that they believed in us.

A seed was planted.

They believed in us and it allowed us to believe in ourselves.

 They invested in us, so that we could invest in others. 

According to Google, a greenhouse is a glass building in which plants are grown that need protection from cold weather. In the same way that my grandparents tend to their garden outside, the educators in the entire Greeneville City School system help students grow academically, professionally, and as individuals. As a teacher’s daughter and former student, I speak from a personal note when I say that the school system served as my Greene-House and gave me a place to grow even during the coldest of seasons.   

 For that, I am thankful. 

I've discovered that we aren't planted here to be the daisy, the tulip, or even the rose. This lesson has been revealed to me recently, however I regret not discovering this sooner.

 Complete fulfillment cannot be achieved by satisfying my personal wants or by obsessing on how others perceive you. This concept is often a struggle for me. Especially in a culture that constantly projects a false illusions that material gains and the perfect hairstyle will result in happiness.

A dainty, vibrant, perfectly flawless flower sitting gracefully in a vase for everyone to view.

Daily I find myself striving (and failing) to be the flower, only to realize that I'm completely missing the point.

You see, once the stem of the flower is cut the beauty remains for only a few days before wilting and becoming dead. 

It's purpose was solely for fragrance and appearance.

Don't misunderstand me. Looking and feeling pretty is part of our feminine nature that should be embraced. However we are meant for so much more!

We are called to be the cantaloupe, the tomato, the watermelon, and the squash. You and I are people of substance.

It's our job to continue to enrich the lives of others, to share wholesomeness, and to feed others the opportunity to grow.

We are the produce. 

With that comes a great privilege to share our seeds with others.  

Seeds of encouragement and seeds of hope. 

jpr

Green and Yellow Goodbye

Nothing Runs Like a Deere.

This slogan has been around for decades and is recognized not only in this region, but globally.

For the past twelve months I've been able to learn what sets Deere apart while working as a co-op student in the engineering department.

I've been exposed to a wide range of engineering projects and I've also had an opportunity to get a taste of other aspects of the business.

The corporate world spends billions of dollars on advertising each year in an attempt to appeal to the consumer and boost sales. Traditionally, John Deere relies on name recognition and the high standards of quality, performance, and customer service that have been built over generations.

However, this past year Deere released a new marketing campaign that not only explains the product but the loyal employees that spend their days ensuring that the reputation of John Deere green is upheld.

The campaign focuses on the people. It focuses on "How We Run".

I had an opportunity this past year to work with the marketing team, film crews, make-up artists, and my friends and co-workers at the Greeneville facility to capture some of the footage found on the JD website and commercials that debuted during March Madness. My role in all of this was small. Very small in fact.

But the impact that this company has had on me is truly immeasurable. Whenever I reflect over my time spend at John Deere I realize that I spent hundreds of hour’s number crunching, collecting data, updating CAD drawings, creating Excel spreadsheets, and generating improvements based my research. However, the memories that I carry with me from this past year aren't about the things that I've accomplished or the work that I completed. Rather when I think about John Deere, my mind in filled with the faces of the people I've encountered and the friendship I've formed.

The lessons I've learned this past year are far deeper than theories and laws of science.

This year I've witnessed first-hand the folks that make John Deere run. I've experienced people. I've listened to their history. I've laughed hysterically and offered a hug to friends in need. I've been the subject of office pranks and enjoyed more Top Choice BBQ than any 5'4 lady should. 

Today I say celebrate navy blue uniforms and steel toed boots.

I lay my ear plugs, gloves, and safety glasses down (for now) with a new appreciation for the working world.

Whether you make lawn mowers, educate our youth, own a small business, provide health care, or deliver our mail...remember that you and I, the people, have the power to make a difference!

So don't be afraid to tell others where you stand.
Show them exactly how YOU run.

-jpr-

Blessed by the Rain

April showers bring May flowers. 

The only problem is that when this month approaches,  I often forget to pause and enjoy the new life and beauty that brightens up this great big world. It's easy to get weighted down by hectic schedules, planning summer events, celebrating the ending of a school year, the list goes on and on.

However, this year has been different for me.

Even though my agenda has been busier than ever, my thoughts are at peace. 

Even when by body is constantly in motion, my soul is still.

Even though the future is unknown,  my destination is clear. 

Even when pieces of this life fall apart, my heart is mended. 

Even when loved ones seem distant, His Presence is near. 

This past week has been an emotional roller coaster. Just as I began to believe that the grieving process had reached a coasting speed, milestone events and celebrations such as Mothers Day cause the pain of losing a special lady to resurface. During a day meant to be full of joy, it can also be a time that draws attention to the reality that some mothers, grandmothers, or aunts honored on this day are no longer present with us in the flesh.

For those of you who have experienced this feeling, know that even though I may not understand your personal situation, you are being lifted up in prayer.  In the midst of the twists, loops, and sudden drops that exist take hope in knowing that there is a Creator that wants to be your safety harness,  hold you close, and take away your fear.

What are you dealing with right at this moment? 

Surrender it. 

In doing so, you will learn to appreciate the showers. And even in the rain, you will be able to look through goggles of hope and witness the goodness instead of the tragedy. Look for the blossoms. We live in a world full of life, so live! 

Tonight, I am thankful for the showers because I realize it's necessary for growth and appreciating this beautiful life that we've been given. 

Truly blessed by the rain.

   

The Single Story

CHAPTER ONE

Let’s talk about relationships.

This is a topic my friends and I love to discuss on a regular basis. We’re women; it's just how we operate. We like to be informed, talk about feelings, and yes, we're guilty of over analyzing. I'm not an expert on the issue. However, when a group of girls get together, you can imagine how quickly stories are shared. Break ups, proposals, heart-ache, and moments of bliss. Everyone has relationship history. Everyone has a personal library of relationship stories. My past relationships have come from all genres and have varied in length. Some flings are short and end quickly while other relationships are like the favorite novel that you continue to read and re-read in hopes that the ending will suddenly change. None the less, both present and past relationships should be valued because they reveal the route a person had to travel in order to arrive at their current state of being. Stories are meant to be treasured. They are meant to be remembered.
I'm at the age were the conversation of marriage is common and it no longer begins with "When I grow up...". Some friends have already tied the knot. Some are engaged and planning their ideal wedding. And few of my girlfriends are anticipating a proposal in the near future.  For my friends who are in this stage of your life, you all know that I am truly tickled for you and I'm so happy that I've been able laugh and cry with you as your most recent story continues to be written! There is nothing more pleasing than seeing a friend with a glowing smile upon their face. 

But then there's me
and I feel like...

But in reality I'm like these Chipettes...

Put your hands up! Being single really isn't as terrible as some people think. In fact, it can have several advantages. 

It's a time to learn about yourself and discover what qualities you desire most in a future relationship. Prior to becoming invested in a relationship, I believe it’s important to be confident in who YOU are. What are your likes and dislikes? How do you live your life? What is your own moral code? What makes you tick? What are your goals, dreams and aspirations? Living single gives you the freedom to discover yourself, which in turn will you help you decide what you want in a partner. Once you have achieved personal balance from within, you will be able to give out love and take it in much more gracefully. Enjoy the freedom that you get as being single! That's one of its prime benefits. Don't sacrifice your personal happiness for acceptance! Rather, be patience and hopeful that you will one day meet someone who embodies the qualities you desire.

Making yourself emotionally available is the first step in meeting new people. This part is difficult because it requires you to be vulnerable and step outside your realm of comfort. By entering situations with an open mind and the courage to be transparent, it allows others to feel at ease in your presence. Life isn't about being perfect...it's about being real.

One day I hope to change my single story to one titled 'happily married' but until God reveals the plot of the next novel in my life I plan to approach new opportunities with an open mind, a humble heart, and an eagerness to live fully, give freely, and love without reservations.

 -jpr-

Paper Chains

In pre-school paper chains were made by cutting construction paper into long strips and then gluing the ends of each strip to itself. This created one link. Repeat this process a hundred times, interlocking them with the addition of each link and you'll find yourself with an award worthy paper chain creation.

As I find myself pondering over past decisions and being approached with new ones, my mind reverts to these paper chains. Stick with me. All decisions are represented by one link in the chain. This includes the small ones, the big ones, the ones that make you swollen with pride, and the ones you wish you could erase. Day after day. Year after year. One choice after another until you look back and realize that these links of decisions slowly build the life you live. This visual makes me feel apprehensive to make any decisions at all.

We are all faced with choices on a daily basis. Sometimes the choices are trivial. For example, choosing to cream my coffee this morning with Hazelnut instead of French Vanilla isn't going to alter the path of my life. Other times, however, our decisions can directly impact our entire future. There comes a moment or perhaps even moments where we must decide who we want to be, how we want to contribute to society, and where we want to devote our time. In this huge world, full of endless opportunity I often find myself overwhelmed and trying to figure out exactly what role I'm meant to play. 

Have you ever found yourself in this situation? 

Maybe we're dealing with this together right now.

Today I woke up finding myself unsure of the direction of my calling. Suddenly, I have felt pressure to discover how being called to study engineering intertwines with the calling of my heart to use my experiences to encourage others.

Um, excuse me God, I can't find this in my planner.

This morning I stumbled across a blog post by Beth Moore. This portion completely resonated with my current struggle. Although it doesn't reveal a specific game plan for life, it does provide all the answers I needed to hear.

 Beth asked,

"What do you look like when you love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength?

Because THAT person is who He’s looking for in you.

Who are you supposed to look like in your calling here on earth and in the way you follow Christ? You’re supposed to look like the version of you that loves Jesus with everything in you.

That’s the real you.

And that’s the road down which you will find what He put you on the planet to do. You don’t have to figure out what to surrender to. Just surrender your heart to Jesus. Every single ounce of it. I’m asking you who is INSIDE OF YOU when you are flooded with the fiery love of Christ? Right there in that passion you’ll start discovering that purpose."

The good news is that we don't have to design our purpose because it's already in place. Rather, we just have to be attentive and willing to surrender our plans for His. We're not in this alone.  So instead of being anxious about the future today, fix your eyes upon the One who took our punishment so that we could be made whole, have a future that extends way into eternity, and be set free from paper chains.

That makes today a Good Friday.

jpr

Imperfect Perfection

Group painting classes have become a trendy idea for birthday bashes and low key festivities. A few weeks ago I attended my first painting party to celebrate a dear friends 50th birthday.

I was out of my element.

Self proclaimed as being artistically challenged, I wasn't sure how a painting class actually worked.

Let me briefly explain in case you are in the same boat.

The gathering space was very open allowing opportunity to move, mingle, and let your creative side be unleashed. That is, assuming you have a creative side. Each person chose an individual work station that was surrounded by supplies.

 Brushes. Paint colors. An apron. In the center of each work space was an easel supporting a bare white canvas. The work stations were identical and arranged in close proximity to one another, fostering an atmosphere for comfortable conversation.

As I sat down and claimed a vacant canvas, the class instructor stepped onto a platform in the front of the room. The kind, slender lady presented the finished example of the portrait that the entire group was scheduled to paint. It was then time to begin adding character to the boring print in front of me.

The teacher guided the group through the procedure. Stroke by stroke.

As expressed earlier, painting is not my forte. Leaning in close to the canvas, I spent time focusing on each tiny feature in the instruction process. My nose was pressed near to the canvas. My lips perched to the side with frustration growing inside of me with the addition of every minor mistake. Quickly I became disheartened and I found myself glancing up to scan the room and compare my artwork.

At that time it became evident that no two paintings were identical. I turned back to my own painting, this time looking from a different perspective. Instead of fixating my view on all the faults, I took a step back to enjoy the portrait in its entirety. In doing so, feeling much more pleased with the tedious work that went into painting the canvas. Often we get so discouraged by the details, that we lose our vision of the big picture.

 Although each lady modeled their artwork after the same example, everyone's painting was unique and beautifully crafted with an individual twist. Perhaps the canvases can be used as visual representation of the diversity and stunning imperfections that exists in us all. With a shift in my outlook, I choose to live believing that our faults and dissimilar traits are what make people fascinating and add vibrant color to life.

Learn to love and laugh at personal limitations that are beyond your control, knowing that you are a masterpiece in the making.

jpr

Nineteen-Ninety-One

Last night was ineffective, uninspiring, non-enthusiastic, and completely conventional. I refer to this as couch potato syndrome...CPS for short. Nights like this can be compared to a glass of Pignot Grigio: absolutely superb but only in moderation.

How do you treat CPS?
Well, each case is special. And I've decided there is no immediate cure. So last night, I embraced the couch. Something I rarely do anymore.

As I was scanning through channels (and attacking a box of newly delivered Girl Scout cookies) a handful of stars from my childhood beamed through the screen. It's strange how a video clip or song lyrics from your past can wake up an entire collection of memories. And then suddenly, for a brief moment, I felt like I was back in 4th grade. What an afflicting thought. Fourth grade. A time of innocence, laughter, and carefree decision making.

But also the year of chunky cheeks, athletic shorts, four-square play-ground games, coke-bottle glasses, and butterfly hair clips. Some girls flawlessly transition from being cute to being pretty. Others get trapped in limbo. You guessed it. I lingered in limbo dressed in Limited Too outfits and NSYNC tee's.
See if you recognize these names:

Justin Timberlake                                                        Mary-Kate and Ashley Olson
Jaleel White                                                                 Britney Spears
Dakota Fanning                                                           Joey Lawrence
Jonathon Taylor Thomas (Home Improvement)
Danielle Fishel (Topanga on Boy Meets World)
Jonathan Lipnicki (Jerry Maguire)

Sound familiar? This crew topped the list of the "100 Greatest Kid Stars". 

I know this because while feeling under the weather with CPS, my eyes were fixated on the tv for an amount of time that I'm ashamed to disclose.  The show explained how each celebrity began his or her career and concluded by comparing "then" and "now" pictures. Check it out.

   

While these kids were starring in major motion pictures and signing multimillion dollar record contracts, most of us 90's rugrats were begging our parents to buy Beanie Babies, milky pens, Fruit by the Foot, and the Oregon Trail CD-ROM. Back in this decade, CPS was referred to as nap-time. It was not only acceptable, but encouraged. My adolescent days cannot easily relate to the childhood experiences of these celebrities. However, one fact is consistent regardless of your level of fame. You can't avoid change. Physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, etc. One day you are selling the GS cookies and the next you are a loyal customer. So cherish all phases of life. Even the embarrassing, awkward, and pudgy moments in limbo …because time only moves in one direction. 

jpr