Orbits: For That Nice Clean Feeling

Fiction or non-fiction? You may never know.

Several years ago my youth director looked me square in the eye and asked, "What are you chewing on?"

Intimidated by the tone of the question, my first thought was to truthfully shout, "Orbits bubblegum!"

Darn it. I've always been taught that it is rude to chomp my gum. And there I was, completely caught.

But before I answered I paused a moment longer, sensing that he was not calling me out about my gum chewing technique or wanting a literal answer. I suspect that my confused expression made me closely resemble the ditzy blonde girl who influenced me to purchase the Orbits chewing gum in the first place. Got a dirty mouth? Clean it with Orbits!

By this time MM knew it was time to rephrase his question. He asked, "What are you reading and studying right now?" Feeling the blood rush to by cheeks, I sheepishly confessed that I wasn't "chewing" on anything. 

A couple of weeks later we began a class study on the book of Romans. Sunday morning, Sunday evenings, and Wednesday nights were devoted to learning and going a little bit deeper into scripture. This was the first time that I had been fully submerged and challenged to research more than the words on the surface. I always arrived to school well before class began. Not by choice, simply because I didn't have my drivers license yet. Nonetheless, I decided to spend those extra minutes reading Romans and dissecting a few verses. I began reading where I had previously stopped. 

Romans 4:9

As I began reading in the library that morning, I struggled to understand the meaning of the very first verse. "Hmmm", I murmured to myself while thinking that my vocabulary was extremely weak. 

The glossary. Yes, the glossary. This seemed like a logical place to search for a definition. I quickly flipped the page to the back of my Bible. By habit I repeated the first three letters of the alphabet in my mind.  "A...B...C...okay, C. Now where is that word?"

My eyes scanned down the thin piece of paper but in the group of "C" words, the one I was searching for was not on the list. 

In an effort to speed up the process and crack the mystery, I decided to text MM and ask. So on that early Thursday morning I sent my youth director a text that went something like this, "Good morning! What does circumcision mean?" 

I've never denied having the personality type that is direct and to the point. This situation was no different. 

I sat in silence for a moment before hearing my ringtone whistle "The Great Escape" by Boys like Girls. 

Reflecting back, the title of that song was very appropriate. It would have been great if I could have escaped the entire situation.

Calmly I opened my candy apple red flip phone and viewed MM's response. 

"I'll explain it in person."

At 7:40 something AM, that answer was acceptable. I closed my journal and stowed my Bible away in my backpack. Days passed but my curiosity stirred.

SUNDAY 5:01 PM

When I was younger (and more naive) our youth group gathered in the fellowship hall for dinner at promptly 5:00 each Sunday before dividing into smaller groups for discussion and study. Before preparing my plate I approached MM in a very professional and matter of fact manner and loudly blurted, 

"So tell me what circumcision means! I just cannot figure it out."

And. At. That. Moment. He. Explained. It. All. 

He explained much more than I wanted to know actually and again I felt my face turn as red as the spaghetti sauce that was supposed to accompany our dinner. 

The truth was out. I knew the facts. And I've never questioned the meaning of Romans 4:9 again. 

That Sunday I decided to skip dinner and I opted for Orbits chewing gum instead in hopes of cleaning my dirty, dirty mouth. 

jpr