We all want the fairytale ending.
The perfect man who is caring, compassionate, intelligent, supportive, tall, lean, muscular, forgiving, and will make you lose weight from laughter. Soon to follow the perfect wedding will be beautiful children that only possess the most superb and tasteful qualities from both you and your dear husband. Each night you will tuck the children in bed, snuggle up by the fire and enjoy catching up with your husband. Finally, you both call it a night but before walking up the stairs in your 5 bedroom, 3 story brick plantation house, you lock the doors and shut the automatic cast iron gate that surrounds the property.
This is how my fairytale would begin.
In fact, I've been playing and redirecting these types of scenes in my imagination for years.
But why?
There seems to be a real disconnect among my generation between the importance of material wealth vs. spiritual wealth. We are often under some illusion that everything must be perfect in order to be happy and satisfied. THIS VIEW IS SO FAR FROM THE TRUTH. These ideas are planted by the media, sites like Pinterest, wedding magazines, some of my more materialistic friends, and the list never stops. As a result of this skewed vision, I often find myself turning away from any relationship or opportunity that appears to be less than ideal. Admitting this out loud makes me sick to my stomach. How much more selfish, materialistic, and judgmental can I become? Daydreaming and setting expectations inspired by "worldly views' may be a direct cause for us to find ourselves dissatisfied.
There seems to be a real disconnect among my generation between the importance of material wealth vs. spiritual wealth. We are often under some illusion that everything must be perfect in order to be happy and satisfied. THIS VIEW IS SO FAR FROM THE TRUTH. These ideas are planted by the media, sites like Pinterest, wedding magazines, some of my more materialistic friends, and the list never stops. As a result of this skewed vision, I often find myself turning away from any relationship or opportunity that appears to be less than ideal. Admitting this out loud makes me sick to my stomach. How much more selfish, materialistic, and judgmental can I become? Daydreaming and setting expectations inspired by "worldly views' may be a direct cause for us to find ourselves dissatisfied.
Waiting for a man to play the role as perfectly as we imagine in our individual fairy tales will cause us to miss out on so many opportunities in the present. Ladies, these unrealistic expectations for the future place an unbearable amount of pressure on our future husbands. Even the cream of the crop will never live up to the crazy standards that we set for ourselves if we continue to base the merit of the relationship on standards of the eye rather than the wholesomeness of the Spirit. No one is perfect. I am my own best example of that and unfortunately teach myself that lesson every single day.
But...
Hear me out:
There is a huge difference between having preset expectations and having a small list of qualities that cannot be compromised. Those qualities may be different for each of us, however I believe at the end of the day, EVERYONE (both male and female) hope to find a relationship full of unconditional love, companionship, excitement, and understanding. We shouldn't have to settle for anything less than all these qualities.
I write this post as a reminder to myself and my readers that checking off a list of milestones in our life such as graduating college, getting married, landing a good job, and having children will not suddenly make life complete. Rather, its the daily joy that we discover during the journey and the ways we choose to spend our time to influence this world for a greater purpose. In doing so, I have faith that everything else will fall beautifully into place.
So here's to letting go of expectations, giving more of myself, and valuing the approval of others (and Pinterest) less.
-jpr-
But...
Hear me out:
There is a huge difference between having preset expectations and having a small list of qualities that cannot be compromised. Those qualities may be different for each of us, however I believe at the end of the day, EVERYONE (both male and female) hope to find a relationship full of unconditional love, companionship, excitement, and understanding. We shouldn't have to settle for anything less than all these qualities.
I write this post as a reminder to myself and my readers that checking off a list of milestones in our life such as graduating college, getting married, landing a good job, and having children will not suddenly make life complete. Rather, its the daily joy that we discover during the journey and the ways we choose to spend our time to influence this world for a greater purpose. In doing so, I have faith that everything else will fall beautifully into place.
So here's to letting go of expectations, giving more of myself, and valuing the approval of others (and Pinterest) less.
-jpr-
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