Raising Shirley Rose

Today there is a huge market that is solely devoted to pets. Strolling through Books-A-Million and Target I've always spotted magazines, toys, costumes, movies, and novels that are directed towards pets and their attached owners. After making a mental note of the excessive amount of dog merchandise, I couldn't help but to chuckle at the idea of people becoming so obsessed with a furry four-legged creature. It wasn't until the past few weeks that my previous judgement began to shift to understanding.

Skipping ahead to present day, I am now a dog owner for the very first time. Exactly one month ago we welcomed a beautiful dog into our family. After searching several local shelters, one golden doggie (in color and in age) caught my eye. She went by the name of Shirley and because of her calm temperament and big brown eyes I knew adoption had to be the next step.  Without a doubt, she was the one.
I neatly placed my full name on the dotted line at the bottom of the adoption application and agreed to pick Shirley up from the vet the following morning. 

Then, anxiety got the best of me.

 I made a shopping list.

Being inexperienced in this area, I struggled making decisions from the very beginning. At the top of my list of needed supplies read food, treats, bed, brushes, leash, and collar. Naturally I knew that food was a necessity, so it seemed like an appropriate aisle to start my first round of pet supply shopping. As I stood in the center of the aisle, my neck swiveled left to right at a steady pace. Who knew that dogs would require so many choices?  Multiple brands. Countless flavors.
I began reading the nutrition facts on the side of each bag.
After all a healthy dog is a happy dog, right?
This logic made sense to me, so I chose what seemed to offer the widest range of vitamins and protein.

After wrestling the bag of food into my cart, I paused to consider the extensive amount of time that I have already devoted to my adopted dog.
I proceeded to checkout, realizing that by accepting this new responsibility a portion of my time, sleep, thoughts, and money might have to be sacrificed.

As an young middle-class American I often think, do I truly understand what sacrifice even means?

We have now had Shirley in our home for a month exactly, I can say that the joy that our new dog provides far outweighs any slight inconvenience or forfeit of my time.  Although we as humans will NEVER have the capability to completely understand the depth of ultimate sacrifice, I believe it's important to participate in an act of personal loss for the sake of a better cause. Whether it be raising children, serving in the military, caring for a pet, going into missions, or volunteering for a local organization...it is rewarding to shift focus away from ourselves and onto others.
 In doing so, we are able to appreciate and come with a thankful heart when acknowledging the perfect sacrifice of Jesus Christ. On the flip side, we are also able to catch a glimpse of God's love, passion, and blissful delight that comes as a result of sacrifice when the greater good is achieved.

And as for Shirley Rose?

**Video not compatible on cell phones**

please overlook my running clothes and the LeAnn Rimes pandora station

  She quietly resides on one of the couches in our basement. As a six years old Shar-Pei/Lab mix she is quite the cougar. She spends most of her time sleeping, being cautious not to exert too much energy that may be needed for eating and taking her daily lap around the neighborhood. We are working on her endurance. After an attempt to change her name to Rosie, we decided to avoid an identity crisis because she would only respond to her shelter name. As a consequence, my mutt now has a middle name. The adjustment phase is drawing to an end and Shirley and myself have both transitioned peacefully during this first month.

 With a changed heart and a new pup, its appears that the pet-industry has gained a new customer. Despite years of undeserving judgement I warn you: watch out all my fellow Target shoppers, you've got another buggy to cause traffic down the pet-aisle now.

-JPR-

Accidental Accidents (AA)

Operating a car. It's a task that most of us do on a daily basis. Some drive sports cars while others prefer large trucks, but none the less the concept is the same. The requirements for being approved for a driver license are relative low and the drivers tests are set up so citizens can pass with little effort. I recently read that there are approximately 196 million people in the United States that have a drivers license.

 One of which...is me.

Growing up I followed the rules when it came to obtaining a drivers license. First I studied and took my permit test, passing by only one question if I remember correctly. Within the next year I logged several hours of driving time in a variety of different vehicles. I was instructed to ALWAYS keep two hands on the wheel, brake plenty of time in advance, and be considerate of other on the road by signaling my blinker when appropriate. At age 16, my driving skills were deemed adequate enough to be issued an official Tennessee drivers license. (I realize that's nothing to boast about). It's during that same year that my driving confidence began to stoop to an all-time low and my driving record became decorated with it's first citation.

Skipping forward several years and a few tickets and fender benders later I have found myself at a new low: DRIVING SCHOOL...round two.

As I was adding my name to the enrollment sheet this afternoon in hopes of having a few points spared from my record, I began to reflect on the accidents I've had. Why am I such a terrible driver? I've had years of practice now and although I have the gift of gab, I'm a relatively focused driver. However, one common fact has been true with all of the tiny bumps I've accumulated on the road. Reverse. All problems occur when I am in reverse.

While learning to drive I had a handful of really great teachers, but recollecting, I never spent much time checking my mirrors and looking at what's behind me.

Perhaps this discovery also holds true in life as well. Often times we stumble over the same problems again and again.When this happens I often react by jumping up quickly and continuing on the same road without pausing to look back. Luckily this is a problem that can easily be fixed with a little practice, patience, and TLC. So from here on out, I encourage everyone to look through the rear view mirror into your past, appreciate what's behind you, and learn from past mistakes.

Otherwise..I'll be seeing you in driving school or as I like to call it AA.

-jpr-

A Life Without

I'm sitting here, watching her die.

Day by day she loses strength

Day by day I lose my faith.

I ask mom if she's afraid to go,

She quickly replies with a simple, "No"

If her time is drawing near,

These is nothing in Heaven that she should fear

This I believe with all my heart,

Yet I still can't imagine being apart.

Selfish thoughts clutter my mind

Like, "Could I plan my wedding knowing

that she is not by my side?"

I want my mom to meet my kids

and share the same love that I will have for them.

In my twenties, I'm still too young 

to experience life without direction.

All these troubles are in my head

But I am afraid they will become reality instead.

Regardless of my mothers fate,

I have been taught to appreciate.

Appreciate gifts given from above-

Appreciate time, family, and love.

Because in the end it's all we need

to understand God's will and eternally succeed.

In July of 2012, my mother lost her battle to pancreatic cancer at the young age of 48. The fears and reality expressed in this poem were written in the summer of 2011. Exactly one year prior to her passing. Despite warnings and predictions from countless doctors, losing your mother is a heart-breaking experience that no one will ever be completely prepared to handle. Everyone has a leader or role-model who they admire and look to for advice, direction, and comfort after a difficult day. This person for me, was my mom.

 Before I continue with this explanation, it is important to note that my internship opportunity has lead me back home for a year where I can spend time with my family (Dad, brother, and grandmother) and help everyone talk through the pain, cry about the loneliness, and learn to laugh about the wonderful memories that we've been left.

Grief. It is a process that we all will go through during our life here on Earth. As a result of my moms death, this is a lesson I have learned first hand. Grief is unique to each person and there is absolutely no time frame on the grieving process. More specifically, the grieving process looks differently for each person.One of the most truthful quotes I've read states,

"Grief is universal. At the same time it is extremely personal."

Some people retreat and like to have time of solitude, some get angry, while others fill the void with lots of activities in an effort to avoid having to pause and think about reality. All of these reactions are normal and are actually a healthy sign of healing.

It has now been over six months since I said goodbye to the most inspiring woman I know. C.S. Lewis put it best when he wrote that losing a loved one is like having your leg amputated. You don't get over an amputated leg. The wound may heal, but the leg will never grow back. You'll always have that absence in your life, and you'll always walk with a limp. However....YOU WILL WALK.

My family and I have been through all stages of the grieving process and still have down days along the way, but the most eye opening moment I've experienced is the reality that life doesn't stop even in the middle of heartache.

If you would have asked me 6 months ago how I saw the future I honestly couldn't have told you. I could not imagine how I could carry on without the person I've always admired and turned to for everything. I'm still not a fortunately teller, however I am so thankful that despite the rockiness and personal battles we endeavor in our life, I can tell you that THERE IS HOPE. Despite how dark some moments may feel, I believe with all my heart that joy CAN BE and WILL be present if you fix your eyes upon the Creator and dwell in His promises.

None of us are exempt from trials and tribulation. We ALL experience difficult times, however it's how we choose to handle those moments that ultimately define who we are and WHOSE we are. I choose not to go through life alone and I encourage you to do the same simply by seeking God's face and casting your worries, doubts, fears, and heartache upon the Lord. Praise be to God for loving us unconditionally and being a God who is both tender and mighty at the same moment.

Go ahead and read Isaiah 40:18-31. You won't be disappointed.

love love

-jpr-

Bippity-Boppity-Boo

We all want the fairytale ending.

The perfect man who is caring, compassionate, intelligent, supportive, tall, lean, muscular, forgiving, and will make you lose weight from laughter. Soon to follow the perfect wedding will be beautiful children that only possess the most superb and tasteful qualities from both you and your dear husband. Each night you will tuck the children in bed, snuggle up by the fire and enjoy catching up with your husband. Finally, you both call it a night but before walking up the stairs in your 5 bedroom, 3 story brick plantation house, you lock the doors and shut the automatic cast iron gate that surrounds the property. 

This is how my fairytale would begin. 

In fact, I've been playing and redirecting these types of scenes in my imagination for years.

But why?
There seems to be a real disconnect among my generation between the importance of material wealth vs. spiritual wealth.   We are often under some illusion that everything must be perfect in order to be happy and satisfied. THIS VIEW IS SO FAR FROM THE TRUTH. These ideas are planted by the media, sites like Pinterest, wedding magazines, some of my more materialistic friends, and the list never stops. As a result of this skewed vision, I often find myself turning away from any relationship or opportunity that appears to be less than ideal. Admitting this out loud makes me sick to my stomach. How much more selfish, materialistic, and judgmental can I become? Daydreaming and setting expectations inspired by "worldly views' may be a direct cause for us to find ourselves dissatisfied.

Waiting for a man to play the role as perfectly as we imagine in our individual fairy tales will cause us to miss out on so many opportunities in the present. Ladies, these unrealistic expectations for the future place an unbearable amount of pressure on our future husbands. Even the cream of the crop will never live up to the crazy standards that we set for ourselves if we continue to base the merit of the relationship on standards of the eye rather than the wholesomeness of the Spirit. No one is perfect. I am my own best example of that and unfortunately teach myself that lesson every single day.
But...
Hear me out:
 There is a huge difference between having preset expectations and having a small list of qualities that cannot be compromised. Those qualities may be different for each of us, however I believe at the end of the day, EVERYONE (both male and female) hope to find a relationship full of unconditional love, companionship, excitement, and understanding. We shouldn't have to settle for anything less than all these qualities.

I write this post as a reminder to myself and my readers that checking off a list of milestones in our life such as graduating college, getting married, landing a good job, and having children will not suddenly make life complete. Rather, its the daily joy that we discover during the journey and the ways we choose to spend our time to influence this world for a greater purpose. In doing so, I have faith that everything else will fall beautifully into place.
So here's to letting go of expectations, giving more of myself, and valuing the approval of others (and Pinterest) less.

-jpr-