Faith Over Feelings

        As I sit poolside and place my thoughts on paper, I feel the sun beating on my freckled shoulders and breathe in the surprisingly refreshing scent of strawberry lemonade and excessive chlorine. Wafting the water, I’m convinced that any courageous swimmer would dive in with natural hair color and emerge as the hulk. 

Today I find myself in a “what have I gotten myself into” type mood after coming to the realization that I am accumulating more responsibility. Some of this responsibility, like career decisions, simply comes with age. Others expectations and obligations I voluntarily place upon myself.

Recently I took a short personality test that compiles many facts that I had known for years all into one unsettling blurb.

The results are in!

Type A: individual is ambitious, rigidly organized, highly status-conscious, sensitive, truthful, impatient, always try to help others, take on more than they can handle, want other people to get to the point, proactive, and obsessed with time management.

Reading this makes me cringe. Although a few adjectives have a positive connotation, I identify some of my biggest personal struggles with items on this list.

As I think about this upcoming year and the commitments I’ve self-induced I instantly feel overwhelmed, ill-equipped, and certainly without any hulk-like super powers. I would refer to it as a mid-20’s crisis, but that would be too dramatic. Truthfully, I’m just having a case of doubt. 

We all experience doubt-even the most confident individuals.  As humans we doubt our decision making, leadership abilities, intelligence, physical abilities, etc.  Sometimes Mr. Doubt drops by for a visit and other moments he pitches a tent and sets up camp inside of our minds. While we all encounter adverse emotions, the way we react to them is unique.  

For me, I write. 
At times, like this, I share my thoughts. But usually they remain scribbled within a journal.

Writing forces me to pause and be still.

Every time I hear the same whisper.

You are enough.

But what does this mean? To me, it sings that I am loved for my imperfections, accepted even when I fail, and valued for being myself. Believing this, doubt has no choice but to hit the road and the need to seek approval of man is suppressed.

And so, I say the same to you.

You are enough.

Regardless of age, status, experience, personality, or history each of us have been strategically positioned to make a difference exactly where we are regardless of how unprepared and unworthy we may feel.

 So today I choose faith over feelings, trusting that I am intentionally placed in this great big world but most importantly I choose to have faith in myself because I know the One who has faith in me.

He is more than enough.