Two months ago I made a pact with myself that has already led some people to question my sanity.
Today marks the 8th week of a personal challenge to live without the purchase of any clothing, jewelry, shoes, or accessories until January 1st, 2014. Month #1 was a success and so were weeks 1, 2, and 3 of month #2. But on week 8, I caved. I have failed before completing even one-third of the experiment. As you read this I could attempt to justify my action, but none of that really matters. The truth is, I stumbled upon a pair of peach wedged high heels and a purse while I was supposed to be shopping for cleaning supplies at Target. Within seconds the two forbidden items were perched in my cherry red buggy, making themselves at home and flirting with the Scrubbing Bubbles and Mr. Clean. The cashier scanned my items and as she bagged them the initial thrilled turned to guilt. Leaving the store I felt as cheap and shallow as the plastic bag that was draped on my forearm. You see, unfortunately this purchase wasn't an accident. Instead, I willing chose to break the rules.
That's how sin works most of the time. Just ask my girl, Eve. (Genesis 3)
The following night, I planned my entire outfit around the newly purchased peach shoes. The guilt would temporarily subside when someone would kindly comment on my ensemble. I thought to myself, "Well, the shoes were on sale. It's not like I splurged."
Suddenly I began to realize that with every step, there was a slight discomfort. Step by step. One foot in front of the other. Holy cow these hurt.
Before going any further, it's important to note that I'm highly competitive. Bluntly stated: I prefer to succeed and I have found failing to be irritating and disheartening. I would argue that everyone can relate to the statement above. We all find pleasure in winning. Some of us more than others, but none the less, succeeding feels more satisfying than failing.
This summer I was enrolled in an accounting course at the University of Tennessee. The professor was an enthusiastic man with a towering presence and, like most professors, he developed two versions of each test. Version A and Version B.
Everyone is taking the same test, however the sequence of the problems may vary.
As a result, the professor possesses two answer keys. One answer key corresponds to Version A and the other to Version B. These answer keys reveal the correct answers and are used to determine whether you pass or fail.
While turning in my last exam, I began wondering if the professor had ever graded a test using the wrong answer key? Or if a student has accidentally listed the incorrect test version?
Outside of the classroom, this happens to us all the time.
During the first phase of this experiment I've discovered that we can" grade" our progress in life from a worldly version or from an eternal version.
In my experience, the worldly version leaves me feeling weary and incomplete. Buying the forbidden shoes didn't make me feel any better. In fact, they gave me blisters. There will always be women who are prettier, more intelligent, wealthier, more athletic, etc. The list could continue for days. When comparing ourselves with the worldly version, we will never be satisfied.
That's why I choose Him. Despite my flaws and shortcomings, His love never runs out on me.
When judging my failures and successes in life, to whom am I using as my answer key?
Viewing life through eyes of faith, we can never fail because His love never fails.
Are my actions honest, kind, just, obedient? Am I serving others, acting mercifully, forgiving daily?
As Bob Goff stated in his book Love Does, "I used to be
afraid of failing at the things that really mattered to me, but now I'm
more afraid of succeeding at things that don't."
More of Him
Less of me
It's time to carry on with week 9 of the experiment against excess.
-jpr-