:::The College Growing Pain:::

I used to think that in order to make a difference I had to be extreme, plan an elaborate trip, or be the leader in some way. But what I'm discovering is that the biggest differences can be made using just a few tools. 

At the age of five I wanted to be the Quick Lube mechanic who investigated underneath the car. I aspired to achieve greatness. Obviously. With the passage of every birthday, my career goals were redirected. Through the years I was convinced that I was going to be the Walmart greeter, a country music singer, or the host on QVC. My three note range and southern draw quickly placed a damper on a couple of those dreams. Luckily, I'm perfectly qualified to endorse rollback prices while reppin' a blue vest.

After a childhood full of dreaming and planning, you reach an age when that adolescent wonder turns to reality. The uncertainty no longer exists and somewhere along the way you choose what you want to be when "you grow up".

I've been mistaken all these years because I thought by answering the what, everything else would fall into place. We've been asking ourselves the wrong question.

College is such a unique era. It's a time when you can remember vivid details of your elementary and teen years while simultaneously taking giant steps towards independence. College is a constant slumber party, an emotional see-saw, a cup of coffee and great conversation, a long run along the Tennessee River, and a time when eating Fourth Meal with your friends at 3am is acceptable. College is a time to befriend strangers, understand other viewpoints, voice your beliefs, dance without reservation, and let go of the parts of life that keep you from becoming the greatest version of yourself. 

Oh, and school. College is about that too. 

But you see, being a college student is more than deciding what you want to be...it's about becoming who you want to be. The passage of time moves swiftly in one direction. Tick. Time doesn't take a break. Tick. Time doesn't come with a rewind setting. Tick. Time is here. Tick.

When I grow up, I want to live a life of intention. I want to make people smile. I want to be spontaneous. I want to be present and engaged in other peoples lives. I want to be genuine. I want to laugh at myself. I want to make every day count. I want to forgive quickly. I want to make a difference. 

Looking back, my first career choice may have been the best. Unlike the Walmart greeter, the country singer, or the tv host, the face of the mechanic working underneath the car is often hidden. The mechanic goes to work everyday with his sleeves rolled up, knowing that the job is not easy. The mechanic doesn't worry about the body of the car, his job is to focus on what remains unseen. Sometimes he feels as if his role is insignificant, but without the attention, fine tuning and auditing of the mechanic then the car would fail to run. 

We should strive to be that type of friend for someone else. Making a difference begins now. It begins exactly where you are by engaging with those around you, speaking from your heart, and worrying more about who than what. 

Now it's time (Tick.) for me to ask you a question.

Who do you want to be when YOU grow up? 

 jpr

Material Cleanse

Two months ago I made a pact with myself that has already led some people to question my sanity.

Today marks the 8th week of a personal challenge to live without the purchase of any clothing, jewelry, shoes, or accessories until January 1st, 2014. Month #1 was a success and so were weeks 1, 2, and 3 of month #2. But on week 8, I caved. I have failed before completing even one-third of the experiment. As you read this I could attempt to justify my action, but none of that really matters. The truth is, I stumbled upon a pair of peach wedged high heels and a purse while I was supposed to be shopping for cleaning supplies at Target. Within seconds the two forbidden items were perched in my cherry red buggy, making themselves at home and flirting with the Scrubbing Bubbles and Mr. Clean. The cashier scanned my items and as she bagged them the initial thrilled turned to guilt. Leaving the store I felt as cheap and shallow as the plastic bag that was draped on my forearm. You see, unfortunately this purchase wasn't an accident. Instead, I willing chose to break the rules. 

That's how sin works most of the time. Just ask my girl, Eve. (Genesis 3)

The following night, I planned my entire outfit around the newly purchased peach shoes. The guilt would temporarily subside when someone would kindly comment on my ensemble. I thought to myself, "Well, the shoes were on sale. It's not like I splurged." 

Suddenly I began to realize that with every step, there was a slight discomfort. Step by step. One foot in front of the other. Holy cow these hurt.

Before going any further, it's important to note that I'm highly competitive. Bluntly stated: I prefer to succeed and I have found failing to be irritating and disheartening. I would argue that everyone can relate to the statement above. We all find pleasure in winning. Some of us more than others, but none the less, succeeding feels more satisfying than failing.

This summer I was enrolled in an accounting course at the University of Tennessee. The professor was an enthusiastic man with a towering presence and, like most professors, he developed two versions of each test. Version A and Version B.

Everyone is taking the same test, however the sequence of the problems may vary.

As a result, the professor possesses two answer keys. One answer key corresponds to Version A and the other to Version B. These answer keys reveal the correct answers and are used to determine whether you pass or fail.

While turning in my last exam, I began wondering if the professor had ever graded a test using the wrong answer key? Or if a student has accidentally listed the incorrect test version? 

Outside of the classroom, this happens to us all the time.

During the first phase of this experiment I've discovered that we can" grade" our progress in life from a worldly version or from an eternal version.

In my experience, the worldly version leaves me feeling weary and incomplete. Buying the forbidden shoes didn't make me feel any better. In fact, they gave me blisters. There will always be women who are prettier, more intelligent, wealthier, more athletic, etc. The list could continue for days. When comparing ourselves with the worldly version, we will never be satisfied.

That's why I choose Him. Despite my flaws and shortcomings, His love never runs out on me.

When judging my failures and successes in life, to whom am I using as my answer key?

Viewing life through eyes of faith, we can never fail because His love never fails.

Are my actions honest, kind, just, obedient? Am I serving others, acting mercifully, forgiving daily?

 As Bob Goff stated in his book Love Does, "I used to be afraid of failing at the things that really mattered to me, but now I'm more afraid of succeeding at things that don't."

More of Him

Less of me

It's time to carry on with week 9 of the experiment against excess.

-jpr-