Two years ago, a dear friend of mine suggested an idea that has turned out to be the greatest, yet most frustrating project of my life! Creating a diary of your views of life, relationships, and ways that God has been working in your life. Easy, right? Wrong! The purpose of this particular diary is to write each entry addressed to your future husband. The thought and meaning behind this idea makes my heart melt every time. I can only imagine the joy that my husband will have just by reading the truths of my past and how I have grown to be the woman he loves and calls his wife.
Data entries to this date: 8
Within the past two years, it's safe to say that my journaling commitment has not been nearly as dedicated as my friend LH. However, it is so amazing to shuffle through the old entries and witness how much I have grown in the past two years. I have discovered that:
1. Even in the most challenging and darkest times of my life, God provides.
He has given me strength when I am weak and begin to lose faith. I have been blessed with the most loyal, faithful, and encouraging friends while in college. These girls love me despite of my flaws and are worried about my spiritual well being more than whether my handbag is designer. They are the definition of a true friends.
2. God is love. This is a fact that I've known ever since I was a child, however this is now an emotion and a feeling rather than something I recite during VBS. I've never felt God's presence as much as I do now.
3. Dating relationships end and distance does not always make the heart grow fonder.
4. Life is a blessing that none of us deserve and we should live accordingly. God has given me with 20 years with the most wonderful, caring, thoughtful, beautiful, faithful, strong, selfless, loving mother. She is my best friend and I my heart aches having to watch her struggle and suffer because of such an aggressive illness. As much as I hate this situation, I can only praise God for the moments and memories that we have made over the years. Most people never have a single day with such an astounding lady. I feel so thankful to have 20 years. I continue to pray for healing and that my mom will regain strength, however I truly believe that God's timing will be perfect. Struggles of this world are God's way of molding us into the children He has called us to be. Only God can bring goodness out of tragedy. Belief in his goodness is what gives me motivation to carry on, because in the end, this isn't truly where my home shall be.
Initially, this journal was meant solely for my husband, and that still hasn't changed. However, I just didn't realize how great of a tool it has been in my own personal life. So try this out yourself! (I know everyone has so much free time these days). Hopefully this may offer a little inspiration to do something creative and thoughtful for that special man who will one day be placed in your life.
-jpr-
